1.   A man is dying of cancer......

     His son asked him, "Dad, why do you keep telling
     people you"re dying of AIDS? "

     Answer: "So when I"m dead no one will dare touch
                  your mom...."

2.   Three feelings.....

What"s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

3.   Chinese Adam and Eve:

If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise,
because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the
snake!